Episode 7: A Gentle Way Forward for Overthinkers
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
If you're someone who overthinks, you are so loved. Your overthinking make sense in a world that can be often so overwhelming for the body. There's deep compassion here for all of us.
Welcome to episode six of the podcast where I gently guide you in a practice of stillness and prompt you with three questions for grounding and peace in the weeks ahead.
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Read the Transcript:
Welcome to episode seven of the Gentle Business Sessions. A podcast powered by Marvelous and Willow space and hosted by me, Ashley Beaudin. I am so deeply grateful to have you here.
I wanted to share for a few minutes today about overthinking. Overthinking is probably one of the most common pieces that comes up for a lot of the clients that I work with when it comes to cultivating a gentle business.
Overthinking is something that I have a lot of compassion for. Because overthinking is a chronic sense distrust towards oneself. It is what happens when we feel like it is not safe to be in our bodies. And we have to be in our minds. Constantly and in intensity.
One of the most powerful things that can happen for an entrepreneur who overthinks is looking at - why it feels so dangerous to either trust themselves a little bit deeper or why it feels so dangerous to be anywhere else but intensely in the mind? Overthinking can show up in a myriad of ways when we're looking at something like building an online business.
Sometimes the way the overthinking can show up is that it can be a real intense fixation of the mind. Becoming really fixated on something that feels likely overwhelming.
Sometimes I love to call over thinkers, gatherers. Because you see this thing that will happen quite often with overthinkers where, because there is a lack of self-trust, one will gather a lot of resources. Gather courses or workbooks or downloads. Gather coaches or programs, et cetera.
And it is from the space where there can be this thing present of - if someone else could sort of just give me the answer. If someone else could tell me exactly what to do. If someone else could tell me the strategy, then maybe I will have relief fom my overthinking and I will finally be able to move forward in the way that I am hoping for that to happen.
So there's this compulsion in a way to just gather, I want to gather all the resources that I can. And something that I have noticed about that over time is that there can often be the sense of my internal resources are scarce, I therefore have to gather external resources. And my internal resource feels scarce likely because I'm not attuned or oriented or connected inwards.
A classic move for the over-thinker is to keep their gaze outward. You know, there will often be a lot of what do you think I should do? What do you think? Will you tell me the step by step? Now there can be wisdom in strategy. There can be wisdom in getting advice there could be wisdom templates or having a plan that has been used by someone else. I think what the key here is - do I feel more connected to you? Do I feel more connected to you? This individual that I'm learning from, or the strategy that I feel like has to happen? Or do I feel more connected to me? Like the vessel and container of the one doing the work and the one with the gifts to share? And that can be the discerning difference.
Who am I more connected to in this moment?
Something I've noticed as well is that there can be this thing that can happen for some of us where it is hard for us to be connected to ourselves and someone else at the same time. So let's say we're talking to someone or we're learning from someone. It is hard for us to be receiving from that individual while also staying connected to ourselves.
And that is usually because at some point or a time in our lives, It was not safe. To be connected to ourselves in the presence of someone else. This is something that I deeply resonate with because. I felt that. I had to disconnect or cut off or bypass myself. In order to learn how to safely connect with others.
That's another thing to pay a lot of attention to you. And I want to give you a couple of creative ideas on how to heal overthinking.
Number one, if overthinking is a sense of they're being scarce resource.
You can usually tell this as present for someone because they might say something like, “I don't have what I need, or I don't know what to do.” There's a sense, almost that the reverse is always outside of them. Not within them.
One thing we get to do with that is pause and say, is that actually true? Is the resource actually outside of you? Or what rich resource are you overlooking? Because you are not used to you orienting or connecting or turning inwards.
And what would it look like to turn inwards and notice your resource?
Maybe even making a list of. these are all the resource that I have internally when we're thinking of internal resource that could look like things such as experienced, wisdom, emotional capacity. Things like courage. Emotional intelligence. Resilience.
Number 2, something that could be helpful for the over-thinker is to look at how they could feel safe in the experience in trusting themselves. What would help you trust yourself?
What would help make trusting yourself feel easier? What would help make trusting yourself feel more loving or more kind?
If you struggle to trust yourself, there's a reason why. And a lot of times, it has to do on some level where trusting yourself does not feel safe.
And so what could it look like to discover safety in the experience of trusting yourself?
Number three, when looking at healing over thinking, we overthink because it’s hard to be in our bodies. It's dangerous to be in our bodies. Knowing yourself in your journey and your story, reflect on what could be helpful for practicing more presence in your body?
This could look many ways. Something that could be helpful is looking at what is really comforting. For your body. And allowing more of that in. And just noticing, hey, that's good. That feels good. That's nice. That's comforting.
Maybe it is. Checking in more with what your body needs in a moment. Maybe it's inquiring about the wisdom of the body.
But go slow. And at the pace of your body. And your own sense of safety and agency within that.
If you're someone who overthinks, you are so loved. Your overthinking make sense in a world that can be often so overwhelming for the body. A world that tells us it’s dangerous to trust ourselves. A culture that has encouraged us to shut off from ourselves in many different moments.
There's deep compassion here for all of us.
Could you play with one of these practices? Or one of these ideas? To bring a little bit more relief and grounding.
For overthinkers, it can be really hard to lead yourself. Because you don't trust yourself. How can you lead where you cannot trust? How can you follow someone that you cannot trust?
Self-trust really makes a way forward. For self-leadership. And leadership of others. And so this is like a rich, beautiful, incredible work. And. Feel free to DM me on Instagram.
Something else I want to share is that Coming home - my nine month group program is currently open for enrollment. And it is nine months of doing this beautiful work of deepening self-trust and I would love to invite you to be a part of it. There are eight spots. And half of them are gone. And half of them are still available.
And if this is something that feels so profound and powerful for where you're at, I would love to invite you that. Take a look at the details and see how it could feel for you.
Today. I want to feature a little bit around one of our incredible sponsors and partners for the podcast. Marvelous has some incredible resource within it for coaches.
Within the platform, there is a feature dedicated to coaching where private one-on-one events or meetings can be scheduled. As well private spaces. To upload coaching content. If you have something like a client portal, that would be a great place for you to sort of house a home for all your coaching support. And I, as someone who is a coach and someone who has received coaching, I highly recommend. Anything and everything you can do to set up simple cohesive systems that help people feel taken care of. And Marvelous is something that can really step in. And help you with that. So feel free to check out the links in my bio. Or the blog post show notes of this episode.
I leave you with two thoughts. Number one. You are incredible. And number two. You are so very worthy of care. So be gentle with yourself today. And every day.