Episode 11: The Pace of Entrepreneurship and Trauma

Feb. 13

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

Maybe the reason why we're struggling to grow is actually because our nervous system or our bodies think that we are living something traumatic when in reality we are actually trying to build a dream.

Welcome to episode eleven of the podcast where I explore some curiosities with internal pacing, the mirroring of business and trauma, and how timelines can orient our nervous systems.

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Read the Transcript:

Welcome to episode 11 of the Gentle Business Sessions. A podcast hosted by me, Ashley Beaudin and powered by Marvelous and WillowSpace.

It is such a joy to have you here listening in. And I hope that wherever you are, that you are feeling loved, supported, vibrant, and alive. This week is a solo episode. And so it's just going to be me here talking to you about things that have been on my heart and mind. You ready for it? Let's go.

Today. I want to talk a little bit about the beautiful practice of noticing rhe internal pace. within us. And also the rhetoric of feeling behind. Or feeling like you'll never catch up.

In some ways, these are different sides of the coin to the same conversation. And I'm really excited to peel back some layers on this as we chat about it.

One of the reasons that I believe I was really drawn to online business in the first place. beyond the initial sense of I want to do something with my gifts and this seems like a beautiful way to do this in a way that I get to decide, where I get to be creative and I get freedom and flexibility and all of those things.

One of the more hidden aspects for me was that, there was a pace entrepreneurship that really reminded me of the pace that I lived a lot of my life up to that point in.

And this is kind of the intro thought that I want to, I want to invite us to think about or reflect on, which is - that often the pace of online business and the pace of trauma can have very similar sensations in the body.

By that, I mean they both can hold a sense of hurry and hustle. And urgency. They both can feel. Like too much, too fast. They both can hold this really vivid sensation of overwhelm.

And I think that one of the reasons. That I began to flow so easily. In this world of online business, is that. I was like, I know what this is like. This is an experience that I have known my whole life of being chronically overwhelmed and feeling rushed and having a deep sense of urgency at all times.

This is an experience that I am incredibly familiar with. And so I can absolutely flow in entrepreneurship and online business. I know how to navigate these pieces. And so I think that there's like two elements thereof.

There's come sort of like, this is familiar. That can be very true for some of us. And then there might also be, oh my gosh, this is why online business feels safe or feels triggering or feels like a lot because it is really mirroring similar sensations in the body to past experiences of survival.

I think that there's part of me that wonders if those different aspects can keep us stuck in order to meet either of those needs. Either to keep it somewhat urgent and overwhelming and stressful. To have that sense of familiarity. Or have that sense of comfort that comes from that knowing.

Or getting stuck in these nervous system responses of stress and overwhelm. And because we're not necessarily able to name that or have language for that, then we kind of just stay stuck in it, not realizing that the reason why we're struggling to grow or the reason why we're struggling to make money in the way that we want. It's actually because our nervous system thinks or our bodies think that we are living something traumatic when in reality we are actually trying to build a dream.

But if the body knows trauma and the sensations are mirroring that trauma. How is the body to know any different? So those are a couple of thoughts.

Over time, as I have been able to discover and receive more healing and learn how to navigate my internal world with more compassion and support. And self-leadership.

The gift that that has brought me is a more gentle internal world. One that is often slower, often unrushed, often more at the pace of peace.

And that had to come first. Like that internal shift had to happen first. Versus me trying to build a business. That was peaceful and unhurried. And then telling my internal world to catch up because it just wasn't going to work out for me in that way.

As I've done a lot of work both personally and with clients around self-sabotage, one of the things that I've really noticed is that the most common pace of someone's internal world lets me know whether they genuinely feel safe or they genuinely feel unsafe. If someone's internal pace. Is often fast and hurried, they are likely are not commonly in an experience of safety.

If someone's internal world is often moving more softly gently, slowly. There is likely safety. An experience of safety happening internally.

Safety moves at the pace of peace. Unsafety moves at the pace of urgency.

And developing the skill to discern the difference within me has been a paramount skill. Because it lets me know when I'm not okay. And when I'm responding out of stress, not out of support. And that can make all the difference in terms of how I'm leading myself. The substance of what I'm building. And the presence behind my actions.

You can usually see this play out because when someone feels unsafe, they likely have a sense of urgency and they'll make rash decisions. A way that we could often see this play out is.

For example, someone. - a launch it isn’t going well. Now they're feeling unsafe. It's hitting financial need. It's hitting things around rejection or vulnerability.

And they make a sudden decision to quit. The launch, quit the business for whatever.

That urgent decision. Let's me know. That there's likely something happening underneath the surface. That is saying I don't feel safe and I need to get out of here ASAP. Now there's an important distinction here because there are moments where like internal pace within us can be a little bit quicker, like when there's a jolt of enthusiasm or inspiration or delight.

And that gets into you like a little bit of a different thing because there is a way I believe that there's a way to really pay attention. Those sensations have a little bit of a different texture, but you got to really start to develop that self-awareness to be able to make that distinction. For example, like the urgency of, I don't feel safe will often hold the sensation of flee, shut it down, get out.

And the one of enthusiasm and excitement will hold the feeling of like, let's go. Let's create, let’s play.

And so even in that you can see sort of, there is a distinction. But why? I think all of this is so important to pay attention to you is because these get to be these really helpful clues to let us know why we don't feel safe to you. If business has been hard or overwhelming for us, this might be why. Because it's mirroring those same sensations of trauma. Which obviously we don't want to recreate. We want to stay away from we're going to resist that hardcore.

The other nuance or element I wanted to add to this is the idea around this rhetoric of like, I'm always behind. Or this feeling of like, there's a timeline and I'm never meeting it.

One of the most profound and powerful realizations I had was with seeing that way of thinking as a way of orienting, as a way of my nervous system, orienting. And realizing. I am looking and needing a way to be able to place where I am in this journey. And that is bringing a sense of safety or comfort to my nervous system.

Well, then when the nervous system can scan, like. Where I am? Or determine, am I safe? I think that that can be really overwhelming. And so by creating and planting myself, within that narrative of like, okay. Those people are there. I'm over here. I now feel like I can orient myself within this timeline. I'm behind that. That's offering me a sense of comfort.

When I can look at it that way, versus it being like this negative, heavy thing when I am starting to get into this narrative of like, I feel behind or I'm not where I want to be, or everyone's always ahead of me. I can notice that within me and say, Hey. My nervous system is looking for a way to orient right now. And this feels like the easiest way to do it. And building a business that can hold a lot of unknowns and abstracts.

If for me that just creates so much love. And compassionate and affection. For my own body and my own way of being that. I love myself so much. I want to support myself so much. That even my nervous system is saying, Hey, let's find a way to orient in something that feels unknown.

So that we can figure things out. And we can do this and we can be great at this so that we can find success in this. I think it speaks to the how much all of us - our bodies and our brains and our beings and our emotions and all these different parts are wired to see us thrive.

And on days where I can feel like there's so much against us. We can just like lean back and reflect that everything within us is for us. And I think that that's a beautiful position and posture to take.

So this episode was meant to be a way of like maybe naming some dynamics that we don't see named as often maybe giving language for different pacing for different reasons. Why business can be. Uh, comforting or overwhelming. Why we might find a lot of safety in the rhetoric of timeline.

And I hope that the invitation here for you can be to look at - what is my pace like internally? How do I feel about that? What does that remind me of? And do I want that to change? Do I like how that is?

And how can I continue the journey of infusing more safety. More pleasure, more fun. More support. Into this beautiful work of creating a business and building a body of work that I love.'

Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode. I would love to hear any thoughts, ideas, questions. I love to talk about it. So feel free to send me a DM I would love to hear from you if this episode feels like it would be supportive for someone that, you know, I would love for you to send it on. If that feels good to you.

I also want to mention that we have a free workshop. That I am organizing with the beautiful partners of this podcast, WillowSpace and Marvelous, Danielle and Jeni who have both been on the podcast. And it's going to be a free 60 minute workshop on. three strategies you’ve probably never heard of to turn your client processes into experienced of care. And that is happening February 20th at 2:00 PM. Eastern. Totally free 60 minutes. If you can't make the time a recording will be sent out. So if that's calling to you and make sure to sign up.

And to close this, I will say be gentle with you. Because you are so very deserving of love.