Episode 15: The Power of Self-Compassion and Three Mini-Practices
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
Often when we think of self compassion, we think of, I have to do self-compassion. But self-compassion, isn't a task. It's a way of being, it's a way of relating with you.
Welcome to episode fifteen of the podcast where I explore some the power of self-compassion and offer three mini-practices for you to try on.
Listen on iTunes or Spotify or below. If you love what you hear, press subscribe or leave me a review. I love hearing your thoughts!
Important Links from Episode:
DM me + tell me what you think about the episode.
Check out our amazing partners!
Read the Transcript:
Welcome to episode 15 of the Gentle Business Sessions, a podcast hosted by me Ashley Beaudin and powered by Marvelous and WillowSpace. It is so good to have you here. I hope that wherever you are in this moment, and wherever you might find yourself listening. That you are able to become aware of how incredible and important you are. And then even just for a moment, the warmth of your own presence. Your own care and your own support. Because that matters. And so today. I really wanted to spend a few minutes talking to you about self-compassion.
As I have been in my own world and also been supporting so many incredible humans. I have noticed that there is a lot coming up for people right now. And some of it is external - there is a lot that feels hard or there is a lot that is going on. And then for others, it's more internal. There's a lot coming up within us. A lot of things that are asking for our attention. And maybe you're one of the lucky ones and it is both of those things for you.
I was thinking about this. One cause I wanted to normalize it. To let you know that you're not alone and I'm right here with you.
And then too, I wanted to offer a few ideas for self-compassion. To spend a few minutes talking about - how to meet ourselves with care when it feels like we are carrying the world.
How do we meet ourselves with care when we have so much to do?
How do we meet ourselves with care when we are chronically overwhelmed?
How do we meet ourselves with care when it feels like things are breaking? How do we meet ourselves with care when we're tired and exhausted?
I want to offer some thoughts around these things. And give a couple of practical ideas. I want to also give some realistic ideas about what the, what this could look like. That feel manageable feel sustainable, feel like you're able to integrate them.
There's a lot of incredible content out there. A lot of incredible science. When it comes to the idea of self-compassion, for the sake of this conversation, What I want when I talk about self-compassion, what I'm really talking about. Is, can you meet yourself with love, care and acceptance? In this moment, in this conversation, that's the context of which I'm speaking of self-compassion with.
I believe that probably one of the most powerful medicines in the world is the practice of learning how to meet ourselves with love. No matter what is going on within or around us. And also the practice of meeting others with love. No matter what is happening in through or around them.
I think though that it has to start with us.
First, I'm going to give you three little practices for self-compassion. Number one. If you've been around me, you've definitely heard me say this. Before, but it is the power of acknowledgement and validation.
It is acknowledging what you're going through or what you're feeling or what is happening. In some ways, it is a practice of self mirroring.
And so what I'll do is, I will reflect back to myself all that I'm experiencing or all that is going on and validate it. So that can sound something like:
I know that there's a lot going on for you right now. I know that you have a lot of deal. I know that it feels like there's a lot of responsibilities. Just piling up on your plate. I know that you feel overwhelmed. And unsure and hesitant.
And once I do that acknowledgement, then I add a layer of validation.
Of course, it makes sense that you would feel tired. Of course, it makes sens that you don't have very much creative capacity. Of course, it makes sense that it's hard to show up in market your offers when you feel already overwhelmed by everything going on. Of course.
And then thirdly, add in a layer of curiosity. Usually this will take the form of the question. It might sound somebody like. What do you think you need right now? What could help? Where do you need support? What could make it a little bit better? What could make you feel a little bit more met than you do right now?
That's kind of like that sundae model. We start with acknowledgement. Then we validate that we get curious. That becomes this beautiful mini practice of self compassion.
The second mini practice I want to share with you is the idea of creating an embodied moment of self-compassion. And so to do this, reflecting on what is something that makes me feel really loved, cared for, held, secure, accepted. What, what are some of those things?
You know, for a lot of people, these can be quite simple, but profound. And they might come up in things like being in nature or being with their pet or being up in a blanket or taking it bath. But for you reflecting on that, what is something that gives you that feeling that gives you that sensation?
And can you offer that to yourself? Intentionally.
With the purpose of almost creating this little moment of refuge from what might be feeling harsh internally or externally. And offering you a place of relief. And can it be a reminder that, I deserve care. And I am worthy of care. Even when all of these other things are going on. Outside of me. Or even within me.
It changed my life a long time ago when I realized that I could actually give myself an experience of care before I thought I deserved it. I could actually get myself an experience of care, even before I thought I deserved it. And that, by doing that over time, I would begin to believe that I did deserve it.
Simply by showing up in the embodied state. And paying attention to how a felt.
The third little practice, I want to share with you is that I want to acknowledge that, that it can be hard at times to show ourselves compassion when we do not feel safe. Because to show ourselves compassion requires a level of softening that if we don't feel safe will be hard to access.
At the same time, showing ourselves compassion can create safety. And so it's a little bit of - what comes first. The chicken or the egg situation.
And asking yourself, what could help you access compassion when you don't feel safe?
This is where you kind of see that popularized idea of thinking around -
How would you speak to a pet or how would you speak to somebody you love? How would you speak to a friend? While, I enjoy the sentiment of those thoughts. What I don't love about that is it just continues this, this idea of like, I could show myself self-compassion when I'm disconnected from myself. But when I'm connected to myself, it's impossible. And so I have to pretend that I am someone else in order to access compassion.
And so something that I have found to be more helpful is noticing. What helps you soften towards yourself?
Remembering that we are hard on ourselves because we don't feel safe more often than it being that we don't like ourselves.
What helps you soften towards yourself? What helps you, even if it's just like a little, little bit, a little bit?
Can you do that? Or be that or say that? And some of this comes from just noticing and experience and practice.
For example, something I learned about myself was that, when I heard the phrase, ‘I’m right there with you’ - I could feel my entire being soften.
I could practice that by saying that to myself - I’m right here with you. I'm not going anywhere.
What is, what are those little things for you? It could be phrases. You could pay attention to it in a sensory way. It could be like, visuals or smells or sounds, tastes.
That's another beautiful way to, to pay attention to your embodied sense of self-compassion. And not just thinking about it in terms of doing.
Often when we think of self compassion, we think of, I have to do self-compassion. But self-compassion, isn't a task. It's a way of being, it's a way of relating with you.
And sometimes by tapping into your sensory profiles, it can feel easier. To access.
What visuals helped me soften towards myself? What sounds helped me soften towards myself? What tastes helped me soften towards myself. Et cetera.
As you hear these three practices. See if there's one that lands more than the other, one that you can play with a little bit. I also want to mention that when we immerse ourselves in cultures of compassion, It becomes easier to embody that internally.
And so if compassion feels inaccessible for you, can you plant yourself in a culture of compassion?
And what do I mean by that? I mean, you could find that in a friend. A group of people. You could find that in someone who can support you a therapist or a coach. You could find that in a more of a structured group. You can find that at the books you read. Or the TV shows you watch or the people you follow online.
In my history, it was I had not seen or understood or had an experience often of immense compassion. From another. And so I didn't know even how to give that to myself. And by planting myself a cultures of compassion, it helped me learn how to meet myself with care.
In a way that was embodied. In a way that emphasizes being with and relating to myself versus printing off a checklist of tasks to somehow help meet that need for compassion.
The last thing I want to leave you with is this idea of take something really simple. A task you do all the time. Okay. Like brushing your hair or pouring yourself a glass of water. Or washing your hands.
And see, and be curious about. - how could I make this an experience of compassion?
And one thing that you'll notice is that an order to give yourself an experience of compassion and a basic task you already do is it asks you to do it slower.
The world is so fast. Compassion is a pause. It's an invitation to move and be slower with ourselves.
And there is a rich beauty and medicine and that invitation.
Now for those who are like, how do I do all this? With all I've already got going on. How do I do this when I need to be focused on marketing.
If that is a thought that comes up for you, I think you just revealed, that the thing you actually need more is compassion. Your refusal to meet yourself with kindness because you have so much to do lets me know that you are in dire need of kindness.
And can you even just take a little bit. Take a sip of compassion. A small moment of care. See what it changes in you. What it changes for you. It might not be monumental. But what I can assure you is that it will be noticeable.
So I hope that this talk has been helpful for you. And I love to know what it brings up for you. I would love to hear from you. So feel free to send a DM. If you listened to this episode and you loved it, or you have thoughts or questions or any of the above? I would love to chat.
If you've been around for a while, you know the Marvelous and Willowspace are my partners for this podcast. I have a lot of belief and confidence and love for both of those platforms. And today, I want to highlight a feature on Marvelous. Which is an incredible software to set up things like digital products, courses, memberships, bundles, one-on-one coaching. It has the ability to host a multitude of different products. Including event passes. Or class cards which will be really familiar to some of you, if you have either sold or taken fitness or wellness classes. The idea of a class card.
If you are looking to expand into selling more digital product, I definitely encourage you to check out Marvelous and see if that software would support you. If you have any questions on it, feel free to reach out at any time.
And to close I'll simply say as always. Be gentle with you because you are so very deserving of care.